Comments on Out of Order Alice: Memento Mori

Shudder. Rabies is one of those things that scares...

2010-08-15T17:31:16.496-04:00

Shudder. Rabies is one of those things that scares the bejesus out of me. A parent's worst nightmare realized. Well done.
~jon

How did I miss your award? I am so out of the loop...

2010-08-10T07:54:33.005-04:00

How did I miss your award? I am so out of the loop!

You know I have to struggle daily with being a 'helicopter parent' but the idea of letting go my little girl scares the crap out of me. You captured that fear very well!

Breathtaking. There is so much depth to this sto...

2010-08-09T19:07:17.694-04:00

Breathtaking.

There is so much depth to this story. The emotions evokes are universal, especially to parents. Your greatest fear -- whether it is rabies or some other serious illness or disease.

Well-crafted and evocative. Fabulous job!

Congratulations on your award!I'm not one bit surprised :)

~n

wow. on a some what personal note, my late uncle...

2010-08-08T10:32:57.673-04:00

wow.

on a some what personal note, my late uncle had a brother, Sonny, who died of rabies.

You capture the randomness of life so well. You j...

2010-08-06T21:22:46.555-04:00

You capture the randomness of life so well. You just do not ever know, do you? Heartbreakingly good writing.

(I've missed your work and will be back to catch up on more later)

hello alice.... i believe although it is 'rab...

2010-08-06T20:22:15.151-04:00

hello alice....

i believe although it is 'rabies'--- it can be read to be anything that is of that seriousness: HIV to countries that still have no cure for something as easily curable as malaria!

stylistically, in my humble opinion, the 4th paragraph can be broken down, stretched out. There is a lot in it. Dialogue as well as exposition. I believe the effect that is found in what follows can start the momentum at that point instead.

well done to explore an unexpected subject.

~a.

Such a powerful story, and so sad.

2010-08-04T11:42:23.703-04:00

Such a powerful story, and so sad.

wow tragic wow catching breath!

2010-08-02T01:47:22.192-04:00

wow tragic
wow catching breath!

Yep, I'm quite late, but I'm still getting...

2010-07-31T17:45:05.289-04:00

Yep, I'm quite late, but I'm still getting caught up and didn't want to miss your story, even if it is last week's.

This is such a heartfelt, REAL story Marisa, it sounds as if you've been there yourself. Superb job!

Man, that story is a kick in the stomach. It truly...

2010-07-29T13:48:00.412-04:00

Man, that story is a kick in the stomach. It truly made me hurt. It would hit any parent that way. Artfully written.

These are the moments I'm glad I'm not a m...

2010-07-26T10:19:42.989-04:00

These are the moments I'm glad I'm not a mother yet. If I read this story being a mom, I think I'd become even more protective that I know I'll be.

Wonderful tale Mari-girl!

Beautifully done.

2010-07-25T18:05:38.375-04:00

Beautifully done.

Wow, what an emotional story, Marisa.

2010-07-25T17:04:30.027-04:00

Wow, what an emotional story, Marisa.

Beautifully written and deeply engrossing.

2010-07-25T10:28:15.428-04:00

Beautifully written and deeply engrossing.

Sad story, very well done. And congrats on your aw...

2010-07-24T23:47:40.051-04:00

Sad story, very well done. And congrats on your award.

Wow, that diagnosis was like a slap in the face. S...

2010-07-24T22:14:42.209-04:00

Wow, that diagnosis was like a slap in the face. She must feel so helpless as her daughter is in a coma. Very emotional story.

Well done

Heh, I had made a mental note before coming to you...

2010-07-24T10:55:07.232-04:00

Heh, I had made a mental note before coming to your blog to let you know that your story wasn't in Jon's collector, but forgot while engrossed in the story :-)

Fantastic piece Marisa, and what a title to go wit...

2010-07-24T10:53:56.474-04:00

Fantastic piece Marisa, and what a title to go with it. The last paragraph, and the "Rabies." before it with no exclamation mark - wow.

Catching my breath....! beautifully done!

2010-07-24T08:01:20.848-04:00

Catching my breath....! beautifully done!

I guess I'm different from the rest 'cause...

2010-07-24T07:38:24.122-04:00

I guess I'm different from the rest 'cause I'm wondering why no one reported the bite. Or was it contracted some other way?

Guess I'm just spoiling for a fight 'cause I want to be angry at the doctors for not asking where the daughter had been before this started, and angry at the host family for, like I said, not reporting the bite.

From where I sit -- and yes, I'm a mom -- the mom's off the hook. She entrusted her kid to this other family and THEY let her down.

Ouch. This is a killer one for me. It's hard e...

2010-07-24T06:06:03.678-04:00

Ouch. This is a killer one for me. It's hard enough to let your kid go and do things away from you, but them to "never" come back or to come back the way Janie did. My kids aren't leaving my side ever again.

and...

When they ask me why, I am going to tell them to come talk to you (hehe).

Scare me to death.
~2

Yes, I agree with the crowd. This tugged at the he...

2010-07-24T00:58:16.461-04:00

Yes, I agree with the crowd. This tugged at the heart strings. I can't think of anything more heart-wrenching than having to deal with your own child's mortality, in some way or another. Especially if you, as a parent, feel partially responsible. This was a great read, despite its difficult subject.

As I live alone w/daughter, this is my worst fear....

2010-07-24T00:27:09.030-04:00

As I live alone w/daughter, this is my worst fear. I didn't let her go camping with the school this year!

Penny Goring

One of those things you don't expect to happen...

2010-07-24T00:26:47.664-04:00

One of those things you don't expect to happen to you, until it does. You did a great job of telling the story. I like that we don't know how she got Rabies, and I like the interwoven backstory. And definitely an emotional kick in the gut, especially for a mother like me.

Emotional tale, you bring it out well with so few ...

2010-07-23T23:08:41.162-04:00

Emotional tale, you bring it out well with so few words. It reminded me of the this american life story (see act one).