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Great connection with the narr...Nice slice of life. Great connection with the narrator and the man at the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-50319452999345653932010-04-28T12:05:20.834-04:002010-04-28T12:05:20.834-04:00We are more similar than we are different, despite...We are more similar than we are different, despite the clothes we wear. <br /><br />Being an outsider makes the world sharp, painful to move about in. Most of us will experience thisr feeling at some point. Yet, tragically (as you point out) despite its universal nature, the feeling often only deepens the divide.Alexhttp://www.iwalkiwrite.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-48178573211261350712010-04-27T03:45:49.070-04:002010-04-27T03:45:49.070-04:00I liked this story. It's warm and sad at the s...I liked this story. It's warm and sad at the same time. There is some sort of longing pulsing in the background that speaks to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-29482750770764220432010-04-25T12:37:49.024-04:002010-04-25T12:37:49.024-04:00Poignant. I love coffee shops of the non-chain var...Poignant. I love coffee shops of the non-chain variety for this very reason.Donald Conradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11299995538611948494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-1722368324379712122010-04-25T11:51:52.241-04:002010-04-25T11:51:52.241-04:00Interesting people watching piece. The connections...Interesting people watching piece. The connections between the homeless guy and the 'successful' business person are well drawn without telling.<br /><br />Great last line too. :)dan powellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14131553102349479513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-58048806861522094692010-04-24T17:42:46.511-04:002010-04-24T17:42:46.511-04:00"The job is as flat and warm." is a beau..."The job is as flat and warm." is a beautiful metaphor.<br /><br />This is a strong character/narrator - I think you should develop this into a longer piece.David Mastershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12809185582216906363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-65529889501814344342010-04-24T17:38:52.963-04:002010-04-24T17:38:52.963-04:00We're all so different yet so much the same, r...We're all so different yet so much the same, right? <br /><br />Loved this and the ending... perfect!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-26599182332346206332010-04-24T00:17:20.120-04:002010-04-24T00:17:20.120-04:00Agree - excellent little snapshot of a moment in t...Agree - excellent little snapshot of a moment in time - with barely any description at all, you convey the transient's life to us - his upward stare, the careful whetting of his fingers. How sad and perfect. <br /><br />DJAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-77989485653391216832010-04-23T23:12:36.285-04:002010-04-23T23:12:36.285-04:00Well done. A simple snap shot of life that means ...Well done. A simple snap shot of life that means so much. <br /><br />JimJim Bronyaurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09580674307591916148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-86061065038156128672010-04-23T22:15:58.206-04:002010-04-23T22:15:58.206-04:00I love the descriptions that you used in this piec...I love the descriptions that you used in this piece. It really makes the scene pop. The interesting way that the man tastes the words. I also liked the metaphor of the champagne left out overnight.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-7151418584834929502010-04-23T20:18:19.337-04:002010-04-23T20:18:19.337-04:00Delicious descriptions. You always immerse me in ...Delicious descriptions. You always immerse me in your setting and I enjoy it immensely.JHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10786972630390815103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-17546965696397514482010-04-23T19:57:53.683-04:002010-04-23T19:57:53.683-04:00Well, everyone's said it already Marisa -this ...Well, everyone's said it already Marisa -this is superb. I have to say, I was a bit nervous for a while, thinking he may pull out a gun or something. I'm so glad he didn't, but still, very sad. <br />Your stories just get better every week.Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-1483206141171262922010-04-23T19:53:08.950-04:002010-04-23T19:53:08.950-04:00Reflective, melancholy, yet--so human. Wonderful p...Reflective, melancholy, yet--so human. Wonderful piece. Its effect is lingering...Melissahttp://windspiritgirl.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-88019312492081299102010-04-23T19:52:00.322-04:002010-04-23T19:52:00.322-04:00This is wonderful throughout and that last line is...This is wonderful throughout and that last line is gold.~Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06774944172261988587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-84218780768358320112010-04-23T19:00:51.952-04:002010-04-23T19:00:51.952-04:00Great slice of life! Your descriptions wow me -- ...Great slice of life! Your descriptions wow me -- I can see the whole thing clearly in my head, and even better, can feel with the characters. Nicely done!<br /><br />CDCecilia Dominichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799727636246434837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-49128717086529236162010-04-23T18:45:05.843-04:002010-04-23T18:45:05.843-04:00ahhhh well done!
I could really seem him and all h...ahhhh well done!<br />I could really seem him and all his actions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32297227.post-16054479913280461292010-04-23T15:59:03.683-04:002010-04-23T15:59:03.683-04:00It's hard to add to the already bestowed accol...It's hard to add to the already bestowed accolades, Marissa. It is a beautiful story and very touching. (Not meant as pun.) If I can make a tiny suggestion, I'd revise it to the "uncorked bottle of champagne" left on the table. Very minor.<br /><br />Lovely writing, as usual.Kim Batchelorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13706206136308395706noreply@blogger.com