Monday, October 30, 2006

Be Still, My Heart

Well, I thought that I could get away without having to go to this year’s haunted house extravaganza in downtown New York. Last year’s experience was bad enough, but this time, I KNOW what to expect -- and it isn’t good, for the heart or the nerves. I don’t like to be scared! I don’t want to be scared! But my sister is the one who arranged this newest excursion to Psycho Clan’s 2006 production, and I can’t say no to her because…well…because it would scare me to do so. Yup. I’d rather die of fright in that haunted environment than tell my sister that I won’t do it. She wouldn’t accept it anyway.

SISTER: Well, don’t forget about tonight!
ALICE *pretending*: Forget? Oh. About what?
SISTER: Going to the Nightmare show! You forgot?
ALICE : Oh, is that tonight? Well, I’ve read that it’s so popular that it’s impossible to get tickets, so I guess we’ll have to wait until next…
SISTER: Don’t worry! I’ve already gotten them and we have to be there at 7:30. I’m so excited. Aren’t you?
ALICE: Yeah. Excited. That’s me, alright.

It doesn’t help that this show is new and improved with better ways to horrify even the most jaded New Yorker. My sister promised that afterwards, our group would go to a bar to have a drink and laugh about the experience. Maybe I can convince her that it makes more sense to go to the bar before the show. And laugh during the experience.

But, on second thought, it’ll be better to have a level head. After all, I’ve seen those movies – with lots of people around me – where some dumbass group walks through a haunted house and, believing that it’s all a joke, meet their doom because their spidey senses are not functioning. That won’t be me. Nope. I will on full alert, and if our group finds itself in a situation where all bets are off, I’m handing over my sister to the ghouls and running out of there like a bat out of hell.

Wait! What am I saying! I’m afraid of bats!