Monday, October 09, 2006

No Ice Time

My work colleague was explaining to me her belief that it is not a good idea to drink wine without adding ice.  She said that diluting it helps prevent the most annoying side effect that always,  She even wrote a formula for me to remember: wine minus ice equals drunkenness, or W - I = D.  Her formula for the other was: wine plus ice equals drunkenness...but  much, much later, or W + I = DbMML. Wow. Remember when we all had to study algebra and grumble about it, asking each other, are we EVER going to have to use this when we're adults? Well, yeah.

So while walking to work, I was feeling pretty cheerful. I cut across Washington Square Park and then walked down Tenth Street and saw ahead of me a landscaper finishing up his watering of the flowers that were planted in the front yard of a brownstone. He was sweeping up some clippings and had placed the water hose on the iron fence. I don't know why, but when I passed the spot, the hose fell off the fence and landed on the handle. So I and another passerby were sprayed by a heavy mist of water. My hair. My trousers. My blouse.

The landscaper cursed and ran over and started hitting the handle with the broom. Hmmm, I thought, that's an unique way to turn off the water. Of course, all he managed to do was to cause the hose to gyrate wildly, all the while spraying water at us. I asked him to stop beating it with a broom and just bend down and turn the damn thing off.

ALICE: Why not?
LANDSCAPER: I don't want to get wet!

The rest of the day, while drier, was just as bizarre. Phones ringing with people needing...everything. People coming to see the doctor needing...everything. Folders and papers needing...everything.

I ended the day the way I began it: at the mercy of circumstances beyond my control.

When I said goodbye to my office mate, we looked at each other and gave each other that look. The one that said, tonight it's going to be a WID night.

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