Sticks and Stones

A friend had been at an LSAT class in the neighborhood, so she stopped by the apartment afterwards late last night. I am always happy to see Dana because we can talk and laugh about anything and everything. This is how she started the conversation:

DANA: My mother is a liar, and a whore.

We heard about the liar part…something to do with money that her mother had said she didn’t have but really did. But Deacon and I were waiting to hear about the other part; Dana, however, didn’t continue.

ALICE: So…um…what about her being a whore?
DEACON: Yeah! How did you figure that?
DANA: Oh, she is such a liar.
ALICE: But that doesn’t make her a whore, you know.
DANA: Yeah. But that’s what I want to call her. Because she’s a liar.
ALICE: I see.

So my logical friend then started talking about her ex-boyfriend, Tate. She had phoned him recently, after not speaking for over a month. She told us that she missed him terribly and that she needed to see him.

ALICE: Well, when are you two meeting again?
DANA: Oh, I can’t see him until I lose ten pounds!
ALICE: What?
DANA: Yeah, I gained ten pounds since he last saw me and I don’t want him to see me fat!
ALICE: But, that could take some time, and Tate will think that you aren't interested. Just having a texting relationship is not…satisfying, no? And you are NOT fat.
DANA: Do you have any cookies?

Right before she left, Dana looked at herself in the mirror.

DANA: Ugh. I’m so fat. I’m a whore. I’m a fat whore.

I think that for her birthday, I will buy a dictionary for Dana.