Saturday, September 30, 2006

Did you hear the one about...

Some conversations that occurred in the Doctor's office on my third day working there:

DOCTOR: Oh, Alice, just want to tell you that there will be a discrepancy in your paycheck this week.
ALICE: Oh?
DOCTOR: Yes, but don't worry, the problem will be fixed next week.
ALICE: Oh?
DOCTOR: Yes. Sorry about this. But, you see, it's my accountant's fault.
ALICE: Oh?
DOCTOR: Yes. I have an accountant who can't add.
ALICE: Well, then. How...lucky for you that you were able to find such a one; they're very rare, you know.
DOCTOR: Yeah, well, I try...

Later in the afternoon, I answered the phone and a Bishop McCormick was calling for an appointment. When I told him that there were no openings until November, there was silence. I became nervous because here I was, telling a man devoted to God's work (hmmmm) that he had to stay sick until several months from now. I was not happy about that. He was even more...not happy.

BMc: Well, young lady, I have been a patient for over ten years and I cannot believe that the doctor cannot make room for me in his schedule. Is this what you're telling me, my child?

Oh. I was back in Catholic school, having to defend myself again.

ALICE: Oh, no, your ...

I was quickly thinking about what to call him.

ALICE: ...Bishopness.

Well, fortunately, he had a bit of a sense of humor. But in order not be told that I had to say many Hail Marys as penance, I told him that I would talk to the doctor and try to get him an earlier spot.

BISHOP: Bless you, my child.

Well, I certainly need plenty of that! I was pleased when an hour later, after much shifting appointments around, the doctor was able to find the bishop a place next week. I call the bishop, happy in the knowledge that he would bless me again! When I told him the date and time, there was silence.

BMc: No. No. I cannot make it there on that day.
ALICE: WHAT! But you were so...adamant...about needing to see the doctor right away.
BMC: Yes. But not on that day.

It all got sorted out, eventually. I wasn't blessed again, and I was thinking that maybe working in a doctor's office was not really a good place for me. The phone rang.

ALICE: Doctor's Office.
PERSON: Hello, this is Rabbi Kaplan and...

No, no, no. I will not be a part of a joke that starts with a bishop, a rabbi, and a doctor...

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