Thursday, September 28, 2006

Working Girl

I am finally gainfully employed. My family would put the emphasis on finally! Part-time, though. I work in the office of an endocrinologist from Wednesdays through Fridays. The doctor is someone I have known over the years and when he called and asked me if I would be interested in helping out in his very hectic office, I said yes. At first I thought it wouldn't be such a great idea because he is a friend and all, but I was there yesterday and it will work out fine for all involved.

One of my office mates is a woman named Liz. A lovely woman who owns three cats. So throughout the day, while she brought me up to speed about what needed to be done, she also told me about her three cats, especially her favorite who is a Maine Coon and weighs 20 pounds. Because Liz spends most weekends at her second home near Woodstock, New York, she is afraid that her cat would be run over by a car so she walks him on a leash. Many times, she said, men have stopped her to admire the cat. One man told his girlfriend that he wanted a Maine Coon cat, too. She was astonished because he always told her that he hated, just hated cats. The man looked at Liz and said, "I don't like those stupid little balls of fur. I like a cat that looks like a ... dog. If your cat were a man, he would eat red meat and curse. Yeah, that's what I like!"

Oh, the cat's name is Puff Snooty, and he is also an actor. Yes, an actor. He has an agent, a groomer, a handler, and Liz. He has done a commercial for Bounce, though Liz said that only one paw and his tail appear in the spot. But more exciting is that he snagged a role in a movie that will be shown at the Sundance Film Festival called Murder Party. Liz told me that when he had to film his part, she stayed on the set with him to make sure that he was happy. The human actor in the lead was playing the role of a killer, and he was dressed in a suit of armor that was made out of cardboard. Puff Snooty was playing the role of Sir Lancelot. Yep, that's what Liz said.

Anyway, when everyone was setting up for Puff Snooty's big scene, Liz came across Cardboard Killer as he walked past her. His cardboard armor was totally covered in "blood" and he looked at her and said, "I had a bad night." Then the director called for quiet on the set. The next thing Liz heard was the director saying, Will Puff Snooty please come and take your place on the set?

LIZ: So, Alice, I was just tickled by it all.
ALICE: Hmmm.
LIZ: Then, guess what? It was time for my Snooty's big scene with the killer.
ALICE: Oh, no, did Snooty have to die?
LIZ: No.
ALICE: Oh. Did Cardboard Killer get murdered by Snooty?
LIZ: Oh, no, no. What happened was that Cardboard Killer walked over to Snooty who was sitting in a very comfortable chair. Then Cardboard Killer leans over and says to Snooty, "Sir Lancelot, I beseech you to give up your seat!"
ALICE: Wow.

Apparently, the cat's BIG moment was to stare down Cardboard Killer with a look that said, "Hell, no, bitch, you ain't getting my seat!"

ALICE: So, did Puff Snooty do it in one take?
LIZ: YES! He was such a trouper! He is a natural in front of the camera. Everyone was impressed.

Liz was watching her cat through a monitor and she saw how the camera kept on moving in for a closeup of Puff Snooty's fierce look.

LIZ: You know how a mother always just knows when her child is going to do something?
ALICE: Um, yeah...
LIZ: Well, as the camera got so close that you could see nothing but Puff Snooty's face, I just knew he was going to do it.
ALICE: What? What did he do?
LIZ: Well, he narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth and said, rrrrrrrrrrrrooow. Brilliantly, I might add.

Well the director was taken aback. He yelled CUT and then Liz heard him shout out: "WHO gave Puff Snooty lines?"

So, that was my first day at work.

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