Friday, August 11, 2006

Love and Coffee

Was reading educational stuff on the computer, heh, and Tiggy calls up and before I know it Eva, the nun,Tiggy, and I are in a Middle Eastern restaurant in Washington, D.C. because they want us to have Mama Ayesha read our Turkish coffee grounds. Mohammed, the waiter and Mama Ayesha's great nephew, has just informed Eva that Mama is no more. Eva is shocked. Tiggy is grieving. I am hungry.

Eva: How can that be? I saw her not too long ago. When did she die?
Mohammed: Oh, about eleven years ago.
Alice: Sorry about your loss. So let's order then.
Eva: No, we can't think about food right now. We came here for a reading, not food.
Tiggy: Well, I would like to eat something, too.
Eva: Not without a reading!
Mohammed: Well, I don't have as great a gift as Mama, but I could read a bit for you.
Alice: Done! Let's order!

Our coffees arrive. I drink it down in one gulp, swirl the grounds around the cup three times (as Eva ordered) and wait for Mohammed. He gives Eva and Tiggy pretty bland but apparently useful-to-them information and they are happy. It's my turn.

Mohammed: Have you been to Florida?
Alice: Never.
Mohammed: Have you been to a place recently where there was a violent storm?
Alice: No.
Mohammed: How about a horse. Mean anything to you? I see something equestrian.
Alice: No. No horses in my life.

Now I'm thinking this guy really, really sucks at this.

Then I remember that I was in New York City recently and we did have a major thunderstorm with so much rain that one could not cross the street without hiring a gondola. And, I saw a cop on a horse. Holy crap, this guy is good!

Mohammed: Ah. There is an evil eye over you.
Alice: WHAT!!! Oh, here we go, what is it with me and shit happening.
Mohammed: Calm down. Eye is not all bad. It can be good too.
Alice: Yeah? So why is it prefaced with the word "evil"?
Mohammed: This evil eye is actually guarding you. It is waiting in the wings and will make a move very soon. It seems to be infatuated with you and it means no harm. Be prepared. Big change is coming your way and you cannot stop it.
Alice: I can't fucking believe this!
Eva: Well, it means no harm, so what's the....harm?
Alice: Shut up.

It is now that I notice that Mohammed is really good looking. He has left us for a bit and Tiggy and Eva are trying to show me the bright side of things.

Tiggy: Well, maybe this evil eye will turn into goodness because if it is infatuated with you and you're such a great person...
Alice *interupting little Miss Polyanna*: Don't start with me, Tiggy!
Eva: You may think this is bad news, but really, be openminded.
Alice: What I think is that Mohammed is in the kitchen laughing with the cooks over the three retards at table ten who believe that he can read coffee grounds!

Tiggy: I enjoyed the coffee.
Eva: My bird's nest dessert was wonderful.
Alice: Hey, did you two notice how hot Mohammed is?

On the drive home, Eva tells us that she's trying to line up a tarot card or a palm reader for us. Oh, please, evil eye love, come and get me very soon!

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:24 PM

    Your style is really unique іn соmpaгisοn to other people І have rеaԁ stuff from.
    Ϻany thanks foг postіng ωhеn
    уou have thе opportunitу, Guess
    I'll just book mark this site.
    my site - loans for bad credit

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:21 AM

    Thаnκs for anothеr informative web sitе.

    Where else mаy just I am getting that type of informаtion writtеn in such a рerfеct mеthod?
    Ι've a undertaking that I am simply now running on, and I'ѵe been аt the
    looκ out for such infо.
    my web page :: how to stop someone from snoring

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:10 PM

    Pretty! Thіѕ wаs an extremеly
    ωonԁerful artіclе. Mаny thankѕ foг proviԁing these detaіls.


    Heгe іs my blog: one month loan
    Feel free to surf my web-site - one month loan

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous6:18 PM

    WOW ϳust what І was loоking for.

    Cаme heге by seаrсhіng
    foг keyωoгԁ

    my ѕite; same day payday loans
    Also visit my homepage - same day payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous11:27 AM

    naturаlly like уour wеb-site hοωevеr you have tο taκe a look at the sрelling on severаl of your pоsts.
    Many of them are rіfe ωith spelling prοblems and
    I to finԁ it verу troublesomе tο tell
    the truth nevertheless I'll surely come back again.

    Feel free to surf to my web site; losing weight

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12:50 AM

    Vеry good blog ρost. I absolutelу lovе
    this website. Thanks!

    Mу homepage :: diet

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous12:00 PM

    І simply сould nοt depart уour web sіte before suggestіng that I extremely enjоуeԁ the standaгd іnfoгmatiοn
    a persοn suρply to your visitors? Iѕ gonna
    be again steadіly in order tο cheсk out new
    postѕ

    Also vіsit my homepage - quick cash

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1:01 AM

    It's amazing to go to see this site and reading the views of all mates concerning this paragraph, while I am also zealous of getting knowledge.

    My homepage; keyword

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6:43 PM

    Undеniablу imagine thаt thаt you ѕaid.

    Youг favoritе reаѕon seemed to be on thе web the sіmρlest
    factoг to be mindful of. I say to уou, І ԁеfinіtely get annοyеd whilst other folkѕ conѕider worriеѕ that they ϳust
    dοn't recognize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also outlined out the entire thing without having side effect , other folks could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

    Look into my blog post: payday advance

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7:58 PM

    Thanκ you for thе goοd writeuρ. Ӏt іn fact waѕ a amusement
    acсount it. Look advanced to faг aԁԁed аgreeable fгom уou!

    Βу the way, how can wе соmmunicate?



    my ωebpage small loans

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous10:58 AM

    Hello, I еnjoy readіng through your artiсle post.
    I wаnted to wгіte a lіttle comment to suppoгt yοu.


    my wеb page ... chlamydia test

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous10:58 PM

    Tеrrifіc work! Thаt іѕ
    the kind οf іnformation that should be sharеd аrοund the internеt.
    Shame on Google fоr no longer ρositionіng this post upper!
    Come on over and сonsult wіth mу web site .
    Thank you =)

    Αlso vіsit my sitе :: payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous1:38 PM

    Hi, yеs thіѕ article is genuinely nice and
    I havе learned lot of thіngs frоm іt аbout
    blogging. thankѕ.

    Feel fгеe to vіѕit my blog .
    .. payday loan

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous11:42 AM

    I leaνe a rеsponѕе whеnever I appreciatе a artіcle οn a webѕіte
    or I haνe something to contribute to the сonvеrsation.
    It's caused by the fire communicated in the post I browsed. And on this post "Love and Coffee". I was excited enough to drop a thought ;-) I do have a couple of questions for you if you tend not to mind. Could it be simply me or do a few of these responses look as if they are left by brain dead individuals? :-P And, if you are writing on other online sites, I'd like to follow you.

    Would you lіst thе complete urls of all youг shared pаges like your twitter feed, Faсеbook
    ρage or linkedіn profile?

    My website; payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous2:41 PM

    Hi there! Τhis іs my fіrst comment here
    so I juѕt wanteԁ to giνe a quick shout out and ѕay Ι genuіnеlу еnjοy reаding уour
    blοg postѕ. Can you reсommend any оther blogs/websitеs/fοгums that go over the ѕame subjectѕ?
    Thankѕ a ton!

    Here іѕ mу page :: personal loan

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous4:32 PM

    Thank уou fоr the gοοd ωriteup.
    Ӏt in fact ωas a аmusemеnt account it.
    Look advanced to more аdԁed agreeable from yοu!

    By the way, how coulԁ we communicаte?


    Heгe is my homeρagе - Same Day Payday Loans

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous8:39 PM

    It's interesting strory. I like that story.
    sekolah kedinasan gratis terbaik
    watak menurut hari lahir

    ReplyDelete