New Men In My Life

Hired painters to paint (no kidding!) two bathrooms and window trim. Oscar, Alex, and Elias came to do the job even though it is raining. A lot.

Oscar: Hi, we're here to paint the bathrooms and windows.
Alice: But, it's raining. A lot. You can't possibly paint the windows outside.
Alex: Do you have umbrellas?
Elias: *does not speak English so he says something that sounds like mggghhhasta*
Alice: Ha, ha, very funny, Alex. You want umbrellas. That's hilarious. Wait, you look serious. You can't be serious.
Alex: Just kidding. Do you have coffee? Make some coffee. Black, with a teeny, tiny, bit of sugar.

I'm making the coffee and thinking that it's always the same when it comes to people working on this house. I try to keep a professional distance and it is always breached. One time, we even had some painters from the Eastern Shore spend the weekend here because the trip home would have inconvenienced them. Of course, never mind that I had beds to make, linen to wash later and a meal to make for them. AS LONG AS THEY'RE FUCKING HAPPY!

I notice that Oscar is nervous and avoiding eye contact. I don't like this. Oh gods, please don't let him ask if they can live with me.

Oscar: I need a favor.
Alice *hyperventilating*: Uh, uh. What is it?
Alex: Don't worry, it's nothing bad.
Elias: Mggghhhasta
Oscar: We want to give an estimate to a new client and we need you to call up a competing company, ask them to come see the outside of the house and give you an estimate over the phone. Then you tell us what they said, and we'll give a lower estimate so we can get the job.

Alice: WHAT! You want me to PRETEND that I'm the owner of a different house?
Oscar *smiling with happiness that I understand*: Yes. Thank you.
Alex: We appreciate this.
Elias: Mggghhhasta.
Alice: More coffee, anyone?

Of course, that was not going to happen. I had to break their hearts. But, I want them to do a good job on my house so I think that I will sort of let them think that I am mulling it over until they are finished and then... Oh, well, perhaps as a consolation prize I will cook them dinner. Hmmmm. No, no, keep it professional.

Alex *shouting from upstairs*: Hey! Can you put less sugar in my coffee?
Oscar: Put a little more sugar in mine, O.K.?
Elias: Mggghhhasta.