Saturday, August 26, 2006

Tales from the Job Front...Take 2

So after that silly meeting with Susan at her employment agency, I was job searching on the web and came across a heading that intrigued me: Earn $10/hr stickin’ it to the man.

Wow, I thought, that’s what I need to do, except for the low pay part. Enough with the jobs that ooze sense and sensibility, that ask and require multitasking, micromanaging, excellent grammar, professional demeanor, sensitivity, blah, blah, boring, boring, yada, yada….

Now THIS could be great! I so need a job where I could finally STICK IT! TO THE MAN, NO LESS!

So, I checked it out and it consisted of a person standing in front of a dentist’s office handing out flyers that criticized this dentist’s, well you know, dental abilities. Apparently, he sucks and he has a list of patients—including celebrities—who have suffered at his hands. Standing in front of the office. All day. Handing out brochures. For$10 an hour. That’s the job.

Not really sticking anything are we. Hmm. No. Not for me. And this reminds me that I actually need to see a dentist because I have a chipped tooth. Well, just won’t go to him.

I press on and then see the job alert that makes me catch my breath:

Want to be a bitch and get paid for it?

YES, YES, YES. I DO, I DO. WHAT IS IT? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

It’s a job at a BDSM studio. A dominatrix. Shit. I knew it was too good to be true. Still and all, the ad said that the studio offers training and promotion, no age requirement (whew!), flexible hours and lots of excitement for students (not me), creative types (I wish it were me), and anyone wanting to escape the 9-5 life (ME, ME).

The next paragraph in the ad screams, No sex! No nudity! No kidding, I think as I have a flashback to my Catholic school upbringing where no sex and no nudity were a required course of study. A course, I might add, that I passed with flying colors, thank you very much.

Hey, it’s $70/hr. Hmmm. Well, maybe….

Also says that it’s a great opportunity to express your inner bitch and inner goddess. Well. Just a thought, but what about taking BOTH jobs? Stand outside the dental office AND be a bitch about it?

No, wait. The ad ends by REQUIRING that the person applying have a professional demeanor, a high level of self-motivation, sensitivity, blah, blah, boring, boring, yada, yada.

Sigh.

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