Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Never interrupt me when I'm making a mistake

Okay, so now job hunt, part 3. Had an interview with an agency that places “professionals” in temporary non-profit organizations. They are looking for “professionals” who can multitask, organize, plan, edit, write, maintain calendars, and arrive on the job on time and in “professional” attire. That could be me, I thought. I’m very good with organizing myself and everyone else and can do all the above with aplomb and good humor and, oh shut up!

So I found myself dressed professionally, arriving five minutes before my appointed interview, and had my multitasking, organizing, planning, editing, writing, maintaining calendars look on my face. Also annoyance was flitting about there because it was now ten minutes after my interviewer should have come out to greet me. Why was he late? I’m supposed to be on time and the prat is late? Don’t want to work with them, I huffed to myself.

He comes out to the waiting room.

He: Ah, hello. Umm. We were expecting you tomorrow, but it’s alright. I have time to see you today and now.

Alice: TOMORROW? No, no, our appointment is for TODAY. I have it written right here. Thursday, at noon.

He: Well, that’s true. But today is Wednesday

Alice: Wednesday? Today is Wednesday?

He: Yes, but don’t worry about it. I can see you now.
Alice *wondering where all the aplomb and good humor has gone*: Well. Ah. I see.

We arrive at his office and sit down.

He: Well, now. Tell me about yourself.

My Brain: You’re a stupid bitch who fucked up big time! How can you tell them with a straight face that you are organized and can keep things running smoothly when you can’t even remember when to show up for a meeting!

My Mouth: Well, I have a lot of experience in communications…

My Brain: Oh really? Then how come you couldn’t “communicate” to yourself that your meeting was NOT for today?

My Mouth: And I have worked in Special Events and needed to use a lot of planning and organizational skills….

My Brain: Plan this, baby! You busted in on the WRONG DAY! He is staring at you politely but also he's thinking, what the fuck!

He: Of course. So on a scale of one to three, how would you rate your administrative skills?

My Brain: Heh. Can we use negative numbers?

My Mouth: Oh, definitely three. I mean I am very good at administrative tasks. Except for the forgetting the right day for my appointment and showing up unannounced and forcing you to see me thingy, I’m quite organized and remember everything that needs to be remembered.

He: I like your….ummm

My Mouth *helpfully*: Aplomb and good humor in the face of disaster?

My Brain *so not helpfully*: Stupidity?

He*laughing*: Yes, actually. I like that you are cool and collected despite your obviously embarrassing to you but not to me faux pas.

My Mouth *relieved*: Oh, thank you. Well what kind of job is available to me that would appreciate my coolness and collectedness?

He: Don’t have a clue. But we’ll try to find something for you that will fit your, ahem, skills. We’ll be in touch.

My Brain: Memorize his face, bitch, because that’s the last time you’ll ever see this one!

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