Sunday, August 13, 2006

New Men in My Life...Part !!

This morning the three painters showed up again to work outside. *Sigh* I was inside when I heard shouting, laughing, ladders tumbling to the ground and more shouting. OMG, one of them must have killed himself working here!

Alex: Hello? Please come outside. Elias has found a nest of bees and has been attacked!
Alice: You want ME to go outside?
Oscar: Yes, and please bring bee killer.
Alice: Bee killer?
Elias: OW.

Wow, I think, finally I can understand him.

Larry is here and I send him off to the drugstore; he does not want to go.

Larry *scowling*: What do I need to get? Why should I be the one to get it?
Alice: Go get bee killer. And you need to go because you need to be useful not merely irritating.
Alex: Did you make any coffee?
Alice: Oh, well, I can just drop everything and rush to make some right now for you. Here, let me take orders. Who else wants some fucking hot coffee? They all do.

While I'm making the coffee, Elias is walking around me. Moaning. Holding his ear. Tapping me on the shoulder now and again and pointing to his ear when he gets my attention. I am trying to be very sympathetic.

Alice: Yes, yes, Elias. I know. It must hurt. Just wait. Help is coming.
Elias: OW.
Alice: Yes, I know, ow. Piss off now!

The bee killer thingy arrives. Coffee is handed around and I go upstairs to hide.

A mere few minutes later, Alex is shouting up the stairs.
Alex: Someone is here to SEE YOU. CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Alice: Yes, Alex, stop shouting, they can hear you in Canada!

Downstairs, there is another man standing in the hall. A real estate agent ready to give the pitch about why he's perfect for the job.

Agent: Hey, where's Larry?
Alice: Hey, no clue.
Alex: He's outside fighting.
Alice and Agent: Fighting?
Alex: Yes. With the bees. Go outside you two and see him.
Alice and Agent: No. We'll wait here.

Then the door opens and Tiggy comes in.

Tiggy: Hey, I am going to Home Depot. Wanna come?
Alice: Uh, much as that sounds like tons more fun than I am having right now, no can do because... At that moment, Larry, Alex, Oscar, and Elias are shouting about the bees getting angrier and watch out and get away and close the window and aaahhhh!

Tiggy looks at me stunned, and I look at her, er, not stunned.

Alice: Coffee?
Tiggy: Uh, no, I'm leaving now.
Oscar: Refill for me. But you put not enough sugar last time. Make it better this time.
Alex: I want more. But you put too much sugar in mine. Don't do it again.
Elias: OW.

I went with Tiggy.

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